7th January 2018
So it seems lately that I keep being told the phrase “Well, everyone is on the Autistic Spectrum aren’t they?” and so I wanted to do a blog about this one sentence. As an Autistic I do find myself feeling quite upset when I hear this, as it is a very dismissive thing to say. When somebody says it, it feels like they are basically saying that all the positives and negatives of being Autistic are irrelevant – that they do not exist.
If you are an Autistic then you will understand how this makes me feel. Although my Autism gives me great positives, it comes with the social struggles, the anxiety, meltdowns, shutdowns and sensory overloads. This one sentence strips me of all the effort that I have to exert to get through simple things, that Neurotypicals take for granted. Especially when I have to deal with my Autistic negativities, such as anxiety.
Therefore when somebody says this to me I want to respond. But the thing is, in the moment it is very easy to respond with anger. Which is aimed at my difficulties being dismissed so quickly. Anger never solves anything though. I am here to teach people to understand more what it is like to be Autistic and to raise awareness of the condition – good and bad. If I shout at them and scream “You are wrong to say this, I am Autistic and no neurotypical like you would ever understand the problems I go through!”, am I going to achieve my goal of raising awareness and acceptance?
No. They will just be offended and maybe even argue back, or at least comment. What does this achieve? Nothing. Therefore I started to think – “Why would a Neurotypical person say this?” and I came up with some scenarios. Firstly, they may have just found out that I am Autistic and are not sure how to respond. Maybe they have heard this phrase and believe it is a good response? Secondly, they might generally be naive and know nothing about Autism. In either case, the correct response from me should be to explain why the statement is wrong.
It is important to help people to understand that not everyone is on the Autistic Spectrum. However, everyone may have some, and this is the keyword, some, Autistic traits. But to be diagnosed as being Autistic you must meet the criteria of diagnostic literature such as DCM-V by a medical professional such as a physciatrist.
Therefore just having one or maybe two Autistic traits does not necessary make you Autistic. Having them all though, means that you are more likely to be diagnosed. I want to mention people who self diagnose here too. These are individuals that do not have formal diagnoses, but feel that they meet enough criteria to be recognised as Autistic. I personally have no problem with this. This is not the same as saying “Everyone is on the Autistic Spectrum” though.
Let’s think about two individuals. Both struggle with sensitivity to bright light. One also struggles with noise sensitivity; experiences social anxiety and can remain hyper focused on tasks that interest them. The other has no other Autistic traits. The first person is likely to be on the spectrum and may wish to seek a diagnosis, self-diagnose or simply to find out more. The other is unlikely to be on the Autistic spectrum but may have other reasons for the light sensitivity. It would not be correct to say they are on the spectrum as they have just one trait.
I once had this response from a lady who had just found out I was Autistic. I explained why the sentence was wrong as per my comments above and she generally seemed shocked at what she had said. She believed she had offended me. I told her that she had not, and that it is a common misconception, which I think helped her to feel better that she had not upset me. I do know that explaining to her why not everyone is on the spectrum will help her to understand Autism better. That if she comes across another Autistic then she will not repeat the misunderstanding.
Unfortunately, I have also met individuals with the opposite response. They do not listen and believe that the response is factually correct and even with me explaining why it is not the case, they still use the phrase. I have even had the same person say “Everyone on the Autistic Spectrum” more than once to me, knowing that it upsets me. So how should I respond to this?
Well I try not to any more. Like before I try to take a step back and think why is this person saying this to me, knowing that it might make me angry. I can only come up with the explanation that they are generally trying to be dismissive of whom I am or that they fear difference so much they have no other way of responding.
It is quite sad but I know that I am unable to change their belief so I do not try. Trying too much would only lead to conflict which solves nothing in the long run. As we try to raise Autism awareness and acceptance it does take two people to achieve this. An Autistic to explain and a Neurotypical to listen. If we are not explaining then no awareness/acceptance is achieved and if they are not listening, then likewise no awareness/acceptance is achieved.
Overall though I think the explanation has a positive effect on most people. “Well, everyone is on the Autism Spectrum” is a dismissive thing to say to an Autistic, but I for one am not going to let it make me angry or upset. I will try to teach people why it is a dismissive sentence and hopefully help them to understand Autism better. I know that people reading this blog might have different views to mine, and that is ok, but I also hope that it gives people something to think about.