So this week I had to write a short paragraph about myself and one of the key things I wanted to include was a list of my hobbies and interests (special interests). Whenever I have to do something like this, write something to describe myself, I always feel that this is the best information to part with, so that the other person gets an idea of who I am. A question that is often asked by people meeting for the first time is “What do you do for a living?/What is your job/line of work?” which always disappoints me. The things I do in my spare time are much more interesting than what I do at work, and that’s what I would want people to know about me. Also asking that question could be awkward because not everyone is fortunate enough to be in work or able to have employment, whereas I think most people would have an interest they can talk about..
This then got me thinking all week “Does a person’s interest or hobby define who they are?” For me personally I think it does to a certain extent. If you tell another person what you do in your free time they automatically will make judgements about you. I think a lot of the time these judgements are unconscious and can say more about who they are then ourselves. For example, if someone says they play football for a Sunday team league, I would probably assume that a) they like all sports, b) they have a high level of physical fitness and c) they are somebody who enjoys a busy social life on and off the playing field. However, if I stop and analyse these thoughts then it becomes obvious that none of these assumptions could be correct. This person could play football and enjoy football but hate other sports, not be so physically fit and the Sunday game is the only time they see anyone all week!
By this logic then an interest does not automatically create a true representation of the person. At the moment of being told what a person is into, our thoughts can possibly betray us. At the same time though it’s worth noticing that our assumptions could also be right and the only way to find this out is to engage with the person further to find out more about them. Only then can you get a better understanding of who they are through what they do as a pass time.
For autistic people though, interest and hobbies can have a much greater meaning when they become what is commonly known as a “Special Interest” or sometimes an “Intense Interest”. A special interest is different from a normal interest due to the level of intensity a person puts on it and the specific needs it can fulfil for an autistic person. These interests can allow an autistic person to recharge their energy levels, eliminate stress and anxiety, give them empowerment, excel at something, and for me personally, allow them to be happy and absorbed in pleasure. This one is particularly important as often the world they live in is difficult, not being designed for autistic people. Interests can also lead to employment, reward and achievements. Finally they allow autistic people to demonstrate their strengths to others, such as hyper focusing, retaining information and seeing different levels of detail in a subject.
Thinking about this I re-worded my original thought to this “Does an AUTISTIC person’s interest or hobby define who they are?” After more pondering I decided that in my opinion, it is pretty much the same as before. An autistic person could perhaps be defined by their interests but only to a certain extent. However, being autistic I do think my special interests do define me more than most peoples. Which is why I guess I prefer people to ask me about them rather than work or other things. I love any opportunity to talk about them and I certainly become more animated about them than other topics. It shows my best side and the positives of being autistic – you’ll see a better me!
The reverse is also true for me. If I want to get to know a person the starting point will always be “What are you into?” I am lucky to be able to attend a monthly adult autistic group where I meet other autistics for chat and socialising (I know!). I have known other autistics attend these regular meetings and not say a word, just enjoying the conversation of others. Then one meeting their special interest is raised and they will talk with a passion that blows me away. That is one of the great joys of special interests for autistic people. Everyone is different, as every autistic person is unique, and I love hearing the stories abut their interests as much as I enjoy talking about my own.
So in conclusion I believe that any hobby, special interest, intense interest or activity is one defining factor in a person’s life. They can be anything small or large and they do shape a person’s character even if they don’t completely define it.
I would say it is less “am I defined by” my special interests and more that they define what I do with myself and my time and my resources.
The “What are you in to?” question sounds more interesting than the “What do you do/Where do you work?” one. And the “what are you in to?” question creates a path to say where you work, what you do, if the answering person wants to go there. For instance they could answer with, “I’ve always been in to ____ so I got a job at/doing ______________”, or, “What I’m really interested in is ___________ and my job at/doing ______________ is really mostly to fund that, and to buy the occasional supply of groceries so I’m not too starved to do it!”
Perhaps it ultimately is that who I am defines my special interests? Sort of a, “Because I am ____, I am interested in_________”, type of cause and effect relationship?
Of course it can easily be different for different people. And maybe even different for different interests within the same person.