22nd October 2017
Warning may contain spoilers…
After reading his book “Fingers in the Sparkle Jar” and learning of his Aspergers diagnosis, I have been eagerly awaiting the screening of Chris Packhams’ new documentary “Asperger’s and Me” which aired in the UK this Tuesday.
And the wait was indeed worth it. Since being diagnosed myself I have keenly watched any programmes abut Autism but this is the first where the whole programme has been presented by somebody on the spectrum. The show opened with Chris explaining his thought processes and how his mind jumps from subject to subject. This recall of thoughts is common for Aspies, and I myself can relate to it. Sometimes my head feels like it could explode moving from one thought to the next and Chris put this across well. We all know Chris has had an amazing career working and educating us about the Animal Kingdom. Often people on the Autistic spectrum love animals and wildlife, and straight away you can see why he prefers the company of animals to people. He obviously has a deep love for his dog and to the kestrel he owned as a young person. He finds them much easier to understand than people.
“People invite me to parties. And it’s like. I’m having my fiftieth party. Where is it? It’s in Wales. I’m going to go to Wales. To go to a party. To stand in a corner and not talk very much to people”
This is a common theme among the programme and after speaking to Neurotypicals who watched the show, they were surprised about how he seemed more connected to animals than to his partner and step daughter. This does not mean he is not interested in the people around him, but they are just too complex for him. In my life, with the exception of a few people, the population is confusing too. Often I find solace in animals such as the horses that me and my wife own. In order to cope with people and life, Autistics need time alone. The degree of this alone time depends on the individual I suppose, with some people needing more time than others. I enjoyed Chris talking about his space, keeping the outside world at bay and being alone. The order he has within his house and the open space of the wood he lives in, comes across strongly in the show as his coping mechanisms with life. He sums it up with the following line:
“I think that one of the reasons I like hiding in my own world. Living in the woods, in the middle of no-where with my dog is because there, effectively I’m normal. I’m not Autistic.”
Chris also explores some of the “so called” cures that are being trialled for Autism. I had not heard of TMS which involved applying electromagnetic forces to the brain to effectively change it. Like Chris I was sceptical of this, and would not want anyone messing with my brain in this way! The other being the controversial ABA (Applied Behaviour Analysis) treatment. This was hard to watch in the programme. Chris covered the topic, although he seemed uncomfortable with it. He also acknowledges that in cases of severe Autism, parents might resort to it as a desperate last ditch attempt to improve the lives of their children. He seemed upset by the experience though and rightly so. Again here he offered his own advice on dealing with the harder times of being on the spectrum:
“People like myself with Aspergers, you know, there is simple therapy. And that is, just be on your own.”
Chris said in the programme he would not want a cure for his Autism and I myself would never want a cure. There is nothing to be cured. Autism is us. It makes us the people who we are. I wish that instead of professionals investing time and money in finding a cure, that the resources could be used to find new coping mechanisms for the negative sides of Autism such as anxiety (both for those on the spectrum and the people around them) and for awareness and acceptance.
Although he mentions the need to be on his own quite a lot, he also talks about his partner, Charlotte. Their relationship may seem odd in the programme especially to Neurotypicals, but they seemed happy. Although I recognise that it must be hard for Charlotte with the socialising aspect of being in a relationship with Chris, this for me was uncomfortable to watch, as often I would like to deal with social events better but find it hard. I know it must be hard for those around me too. It might seem strange to some that he does not live with his partner but I think that all relationships are unique. It is what works for those involved, whether they are both Autistic, both Neurotypical or a mix. Personally I would hate not living with my wife and seeing her every day.
Another thing that I felt that Chris and I had in common was his dealing with loss and death. I could connect to what he was saying about the loss of his kestrel and how he struggles to come to terms with losing the things he cares most about. I have had similar feelings which I find hard to express too. The biggest worry is for the future loses and the anxiety that brings.
The programme covers the issues that all Autistics go through, fitting in, sensory issues, finding coping solutions, interacting, obsessions and special interests, encyclopaedic knowledge of subjects, anxiety etc. I think some of these things are only touched on briefly by Chris and I would have loved to have heard more of his views. The response on Twitter to the show was positive and several people mentioned that it would be great if he could do more programmes or even a series. He acknowledges his Aspergers as an aid to him to allow him to do his job by seeing the world differently. The last part of the show he talks about the positive aspects of Autism and how they contrast with the poor employment figures of those on the spectrum. He rightly calls this a tragedy. The show wraps up with a great car interview with Steve Silberman, author of the excellent book “Neurotribes” and an overview of autistic employment in Silicon Valley.
The show is really insightful to watch and very relatable to me. The biggest thing was that my mother had watched it too and phoned me the next day to say she was upset by the similarities between Chris and I. Especially when younger. She said that if she had had more understanding when I was young she perhaps could have helped me more. That was thirty to forty years ago and Autism and Aspergers were less known about. Don’t get me wrong, I think my parents did a great job with the resources they had, but it proves that awareness has grown since that time. And the reason for this is for people like Chris making programmes like this one. As the new ambassador for the National Autistic Society, I think he will continue to do this extremely effectively and I cannot wait to see what he does next to raise Autism awareness and acceptance. He is inspiring. I think the last word in this blog should be his:
“No one should be imprisoned by this condition. They should be allowed to exalt in those aspects of the condition which empower them. That difference is such a valuable tool, an enormous asset. To be able to see things, understand things, process things and remember things in a way that most people can’t do has to been seen as a gift, not something that you’re badged with and it’s about what you can’t do. It’s got to be about what you can do.”