MY AUTISTIC SUPERMARKET SHOPPING SURVIVAL TIPS

Domestic chores are well divided in our household. From day one of living together I agreed to do all the house cleaning, whilst my wife does the laundry and the food shop. We share the cooking and dish washing, although it tends to be me doing the most cooking simply because of the long hours my wife works. The best part of this division of chores is the fact that she will do the “big” weekly shop to the supermarket and I am really grateful that she does. Supermarkets are not really friendly places for autistic people due to their tightly packed aisles, bright lights, noise, smells and even temperature (for example how much colder is it down a freezer aisle…). Therefore it is not a place that I wish to be for very long.

Visits to the supermarket have also been more challenging lately due to the new laws around the Covid pandemic – having to wear masks when inside the shop. I do wear a mask, even though being autistic I could be classed as exempt, as I believe it is the right thing to do if you are able to manage it. I don’t want to pass anything onto anybody else. There is a face blindness issue for me with mask wearing. I find it a bit disorienting seeing everyone else wearing masks. For years I have avoided eye contact by looking at peoples mouths and noses, but suddenly now they are not visible. I have already mistaken strangers for people I know when in shops…

Anyway I am going off subject slightly so back to supermarket shopping. Occasionally I will do our main supermarket shop if for instance my wife is extremely busy or unwell. I don’t mind doing it sometimes because I have been able to develop some techniques to help me deal with the sensory issues, which I would like to share with you now. This is not a definite list so if anybody has any other tips then I would love to hear them.

Firstly before going to the supermarket I try to work out my current stress levels, so that any sensory overload in the shops is not going to build on any anxiety already present, leading me into meltdown territory. This will then help me to decide when is the best time to go to the shop. As I am at work all week, shopping is done at the weekend, but there is always the temptation to do it on a Friday evening to get it out of the way. However, on a Friday I might be feeling exhausted after work and already irritable with my executive functioning already starting to fail me. If I think this is the case then going to the supermarket is a bad idea and I will leave it until the next day. This is after I have rested, stimmed and generally indulged in a relaxing activity or special interest.

Often I will time going to the shop first thing when they open for two reasons. Firstly, there will be fewer people in there, than say lunchtime, which means less crowding and human contact. Secondly, there is more chance of me completing my shopping list. When shops first open they are more stocked up with items, especially fresh items like fruit and vegetables. I can find it stressful to go to the shop and find that they do not have the item I want to buy. Not just because I might need that item, but also because as an autistic person I kind of need to have that list completed. Once in a supermarket, that feeling of frustration can compound stress levels even further, so I time my shopping trips to hopefully eliminate the chances of that happening.

I just mentioned lists! If you are doing a big shop then it is important to have a list to ensure that you get everything that you need. Great idea, but I would say to myself prior to the shop that it does not matter if I can not complete that list for whatever reason (as mentioned the store not having the item). This helps combat the panic of having an uncompleted list at the end of the shopping journey. A list will also eliminate having to return to the supermarket to get an essential item that you might have forgotten the first time round. After all, why would anyone want to go into the supermarket environment more times then they have to.

Autistic people like routine. It’s safe and familiar. I always have a preplanned route around the store before I go in. I visualise the aisles and the route I will walk to match this to my shopping list. So for example, if the first aisle is vegetables then my shopping list will start with vegetables. I can also plan this carefully to eliminate the time I need to spend in the supermarket. Another thing that I do is to ensure that all chilled and frozen stuff is bought last. If I am caught in a long queue at the checkout or stuck in traffic on the way home, I will always worry about frozen goods defrosting (even though in all likelihood they would be fine) so by getting my frozen items last, I will help to ease this worry as I have reduced the time that goods are out of the freezer.

The only problem here is when the supermarket rearrange their aisles. This can really cause me problems and stress. Why??? I am sure there are reasons for it, but it does cause problems for some disabled folk and those with neurological differences.

My next technique is what I like to call the “trolley drop”. Remember the least time I spend actually in the sensory nightmare of the supermarket the better. Sometimes it can be difficult to get to an item I need in an aisle that is full of people and trollys. I can see what I want and I know where it is, so I would be really quick down that aisle. Unfortunately I would not be able to get it with my trolley. Therefore I leave my trolley at the end of the aisle and, as quick as I can, manoeuvre just myself to get the item, returning to the “trolley drop” location. This can save a lot of time when done repeatedly. However, if you are going to do this, please remember to maintain social distancing due to the current pandemic.

The biggest problem with supermarkets for autistic people is sensory overload. I always go prepared with sunglasses to combat lights, nose cancelling headphones to combat… well, noise…. and even something to fidget with if I start to feel overloaded. I know some people even will use scented handkerchief to avoid smells they don’t like. Find out what works for you to make the hostile supermarket environment less hostile. The new rules about wearing masks can be difficult for some people, but remember the rule is for face coverings. I don’t like masks because of the sensation behind the back of the ears, so I wear a “snood” type one which goes around my neck and I can just pull up over my mouth and nose. Everyone is different so again, find what works for you.

Finally I would like to say that a lot of supermarkets do now have systems in place to help autistic people and other people with conditions that make shopping more difficult. These include quieter hours and the sunflower lanyard. You don’t have to use them, but they are there should you choose to do so.

All these things help to make the supermarket shop bearable when I have to do it. Luckily it is not too often that I have to do a “big” grocery shop, thanks to my lovely wife, but when I do, I am prepared. I always make sure too that afterwards I can have a little down time to myself to recover from going….