WORKING FROM HOME – MY AUTISTIC THOUGHTS

The recent lockdown due to Covid-19 has given a lot of people the opportunity to do something they never thought would be possible. To work from home. For some people this has been a negative thing and caused a lot of problems. For others it has been more positive.

For me personally, working from home was something I have always wanted to do but never thought it would be allowed. I know a few autistic folk who have been working from home for quite a while and when speaking to them about it, I always found I had a pang of jealousy. Now I had the chance, although at the same time I was disappointed that it had to come from such a sad event, the onslaught of the coronavirus.

I worked at home for two or three weeks before being furloughed for several months and then finally returning to working from home for the past two months. So how did I find it? To be honest I was really surprised by what happened. The improvement of my health and well being was phenominal. I knew work was tiring for me being autistic but I had no idea of just how much. Working from home has made me a different person. I’m happier, healthier, more productive and more at peace.

It became apparent really quickly that without the anxiety of the commute, the constant masking I have to do within the office, the more controlled aspect of any social interaction, the control of sensory issues without having to compromise with other people and the chance to focus on my work without disruptions made me feel less tired, have more energy, more time to do the things I need to do and be better equipped to prevent meltdowns and shutdowns.

It can be difficult to explain some of these aspects to neurotypicals, but here are the main three reasons why home working works for me.

Just travelling up the street in the car can create waves of anxiety that won’t leave me for the whole day. Even a minor incident, like somebody gesturing from another car because they believe they had right of way will play on my mind all day, as I worry there will be repercussions from it. And that’s just one thing I could be questioning over and over again. Did I set off a speed camera? Did I cut somebody up? Did I drive safely? What if I did something by mistake and somebody filmed it and reported me? I know some of these thoughts are intrusive and irrational, but they still can play on my mind and I have to use exhausting anxiety managemet techniques to block them. That’s before the work day has even started and imagine having to deal with that all day, whilst trying to produce good work. Working from home eliminates that for me.

Masking in the office, which is something autistic people do in order to appear more neurotypical and to fit in with social interactions, small talk, banter etc. This means that social communication can be exhausting for me. I am sure that a lot of autistic people would be able to relate to this. In the office, I might say something or do something wrong because I have misunderstood somebody’s joke or instruction. I might come across as having an “ism” by phrasing something wrong, which could mean I end up disciplined when really I just got muddled up and was just misunderstood. There is the constant worry that I will upset somebody, create a problem or get into trouble. This can be crippling to the working day. It makes me feel both mentally and physically unwell and is a daily concern. By the end of the week I am exhausted. All this is greatly reduced by online interactions that I can do by working from home.

Offices can be a sensory nightmare for autistic people, who have very specific sensory input requirements in order to not get overloaded. For me it is a case of limiting the exposure to these things that are going to cause me sensory stress. Difficult in a room full of people jostling to control the same environment to suit their own needs as there has to be some compromise. The downside is that you have to just endure some sensory issues as best you can knowing that throughout the day they are going to wear you down and drain your energy. Often by the end of the day I can feel almost zombie like, tired with no motivation to do any after work activities other than sleep. Occasionally this can be okay, but daily it can be exhausting, depressing and affect my ability to function and perform tasks both in and out of work. Working from home allows complete control over my environment in terms of sensory input eliminating most of the energy zapping.

There are other factors for me but these are the main ones. I also want to say that the company I work for have taken some great steps to reduce the problems I have in the workplace environment. For example, daylight bulbs which are less stressful for me. I am extremely grateful for this but it is reducing my problems and not curing them. Working from home is the perfect medicine. It almost fixes everything and means that I can I live a happier, more productive and fulfilling life. Since working from home, my productivity has increased and therefore I am a much better worker and asset to the company. Another positive of working from home is that I can use my ability to hyperfocus much better and when working on specific projects I have delivered them faster, better and more polished without the distraction of the office environment.

I hope that more and more companies allow those who wish to work from home and can do so effectively the opportunity to do so as the lockdown periods end. I believe that everyone should have the right to work in the way that suits them best and as long as they are performing satisfactory, their company should not have an issue with this. I admit it doesn’t suit everyone and there are those who are wanting to be in the traditional office environment. I do appreciate this and they should still be able to. However, with modern technology those that don’t want to for whatever reason, should have that freedom of choice. Home working used to be something of a privilege for a few people, but I think now it should be a right for those who need it and can implement it successfully for both the employer and employee.

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